Yang's Admission
by jensening
Summary: Yang has always been in love with Blake, she's just gotten a little lost along the way. But Coco won't let her stay lost. A rather large Bumblebee one-shot with (Yang/Coco) as a side thing.


This is a, uh, rather long one-shot. It does have Coco/Yang but is primarily about Yang/Blake.

* * *

It is easy to look at someone and see your future in them. To look at them and think, _yeah, this is it; this is the person who I've been waiting for._

It is far harder to learn that that is not how life works. Yang had looked at Blake much the same way; she had seen this beautiful dark Faunus girl and felt nothing but love for her.

Because Blake was gorgeous. That was the irrefutable truth.

And Blake was strong.

And Blake was kind.

And she was cunning.

And quiet.

And smart.

And she was _so_ smart.

But she was also so straight. That was the irrefutable truth.

When Blake had first started dating Sun, it hurt Yang. Yang could not deny it; it made her insides boil like Blake had ripped at her soul, ripped at it and thrown it from her body as if it were nothing, and all that was left was the burning pain of being left behind. Yang quickly felt like she had lost control. Her body burned, yet she had no way to calm herself or protect herself.

But she recovered. Quite quickly, it would seem.

Ruby had set her up with Coco. She was great, really, Coco was really great. She was funny, and totally badass, and she had this way about her that was stupidly sexy. Yang loved spending time with her. She grew feelings for her, quite quickly, and Coco had been surprisingly sensitive and mushy and it had warmed Yang's insides. It was easy to fall for Coco, like sticking your freezing fingers under cold water and gradually turning it warmer and warmer until your fingers were boiling. But it was a good boiling, a warm boiling, a safe boiling.

She was happy with Coco.

But the illusion was shattered when Blake found out, and all of a sudden the water was cold again.

They had been alone in Team RWBY's dorm room, Coco and her making out on Yang's bed. She remembered the way Coco wrapped her arms around her and pressed firm circles in her shoulder blades, and how safe and relaxed Yang had felt. Her lips were like cherry, Yang remembered with fond evanescence, and she kissed with a gentle ferocity that left Yang's senses ensnared.

Coco had made the first move. She had tugged at Yang's top and Yang had pulled it off as if it was nothing. She remembered Coco's mouth sliding between her breasts and leaving soft kisses, and how when their lips had joined again Coco's tongue had slipped through, and Yang had let out a low, throaty moan.

And then Blake had walked in, and Yang wanted nothing more than to disappear. Coco had pulled apart from Yang, smirked, and said, "Hey, Blake."

Blake had not replied. She had been stuck at the door, her ears twitching on her head under her bow, and then she'd stuttered and said. "Oh, er, sorry. I just came for my history book."

Yang had shoved her shirt on faster than Ruby could have, and that was saying something.

"Don't worry about it." Coco said, "It's your room."

Blake walked in and searched through her books. Yang could see that she was confused, or maybe frustrated, but she also had this little smirk on her face. She picked up her history book, sighed, and turned back to the door. She said a small "sorry for interrupting." And then she left.

Coco had immediately turned to Yang, who was avoiding her eyes and blushing. "So what was that about?" she had asked.

"What?" Yang replied. "What was what about?"

Coco had sighed and then the atmosphere shifted. Suddenly she was serious. "Yang, you're a confident lady with shit tons of sass, and I totally love that about you. I think it's sexy. But I didn't see any of that confidence just now, being caught by Blake. When Weiss had found us we were down to our underwear and you just laughed and made some bad pun that I don't want to even try to remember."

Yang met Coco's eyes. They were neutral and understanding, and Yang couldn't help her shoulders slumping. "What's your point?"

But Yang knew what her point was.

"Yang," Coco began. She held on to Yang's hands and looked at her in the eyes. Yang could see the sadness in them. "You didn't tell anyone about our relationship, even after we spent time with Velvet, Fox and Yatsuhashi. I told them about you. I'm serious about you. And I think that Blake's holding you back."

Yang had given a nervous chuckle. "Blake? Why – why would Blake be holding me back?"

Coco brought one of Yang's hands to her mouth and pressed a delicate kiss on her knuckles. Yang's heart felt heavy, but with that small action it fluttered. "Because you have feelings for her."

Yang remembered how she had collapsed in that second. Deflated with the words that she wished weren't true but knew with every breath that they were. "I'm sorry." She had whispered and rested her head against her hands, her palms covered her eyes. "I really like you." She said. "I'm sorry."

Coco had pulled her close and kissed her forehead. Gently, she pried Yang's hands away from her face, and wiped away her tears. "It's okay, Blondie." She whispered, but Yang couldn't help but feel as if she had ruined everything, and her tears did not cease. "It's not your fault."

Coco had held her close. Yang had always found Coco's hugs to be so warm and comforting, and the way she wrapped her arms so securely around Yang made her feel like nothing could ever be wrong. And, this time, when Yang tilted her head up and kissed Coco deeply, Coco did not pull away until Yang's tears had stopped.

And then, in the relaxed, confident way Coco had, she said. "You know, if Blake doesn't work out I'm always open. I can be great rebound sex."

Yang had given a muffled laugh against Coco's chest, and Coco had smiled sadly and kissed the top of Yang's head.

And then that was the end of that, and Yang had ended up alone again. When Blake had returned, many hours later, she had asked about Coco and said that she was happy for Yang. Yang remembered how sincere Blake had sounded. Yang remembered how she had burst into tears and said that they broke up, and she remembered feeling so remorseful for letting Coco go; she cared deeply for her. Her tears were frustrated and they were angry, and all she wanted was to be in Coco's arms. But then Blake had put her arms around Yang, and they had felt so completely different in such a good way, and it had only made Yang cry harder.

It was not supposed to be so difficult. She could not care for Coco so deeply and yet look at Blake as if she were Yang's everything. It hurt too much, it was too much work, and Yang did not have the strength to keep feeling any longer.

Blake had mumbled kind words into Yang's ear, and her breath was warm and tickled. Yang's face had been pressed against her neck, and with every sharp breath she smelt Blake's musky perfume and felt how it bubbled her insides, and it was a reminder, every second she lived in this girls arms, that she hated herself.

And she loved Blake. And she loved Coco. And she only wanted to love Coco.

Ruby had gotten worried about her, from that day onwards. She seemed to be more self-destructive in battle which, sure, only made her stronger, but it seemed Yang just wanted to take and take and take hit after hit, and never give back. She ended up getting so worried about Yang she had started yelling at her in the middle of their room, Weiss and Blake watching them the whole time.

"I can't watch you hurt yourself like this Yang, I can't! You mean too much to me and you can't – I can't – I won't let you!"

"Oh, you won't _let_ me?!" Yang could feel the anger burning within her; her semblance tingling against her skin and begging to be brought to the surface. Anger was better than sadness, Yang had realised, and with every hit she took it was one less second of sadness she would have to endure. "I don't even know what you're talking about; I'm _fine_ , Ruby!"

"Fine." Ruby said, suddenly quiet. "Fine? Fine is not when you let Ursa beat you into the ground and don't even try to fight back. Fine is not when you break away from everybody you love, it's not when you neglect your school work to sneak out into the forest and kill Grimm to the point of exhaustion!"

Weiss had stood up and came to Ruby's side, grabbing her arm. "Ruby, maybe you should leave it. She's obviously not ready to talk about it."

But Ruby had shook her off and ignored her, looking at Yang with this heart-breaking sincerity that made her feel incredibly guilty. "Yang, please." She said. "Just talk to me."

Yang was not ready, and so she pulled away. "I'm going to take a walk." Yang spared a final look at Blake, who looked completely shocked and rightly so, it was not like Ruby to yell – less so, it was not like Ruby and Yang to fight. She left.

That when Yang had begun to feel better, at least so she had thought. She had stormed straight down the dorms with powerful purpose and pounding adrenaline, and she had banged against Team CFVY's door like a murderer, and when Coco had answered it Yang had locked her in the most passionate, deep, and utterly agonising kiss that left both girls bruised and breathless.

"Are you alone?" Yang asked, gripping Coco's hand and storming into the room.

"Yeah," Coco had replied, "Look, Yang, what's this about –"

Yang ripped off her t-shirt. "Your offer still good?"

Coco nodded once, seeming to understand. "Totally."

Yang pulled her into her and kissed her again. "Then kiss me."

Coco did.

After that, they became something like friends with benefits. But it was different, because there were feelings, feelings that had already been there, and that made it difficult. Every day, Yang got up, felt like she didn't deserve Coco, cried, and went to her lessons. Then, she got home, did her work, and then went to see Coco. Usually it was late at night, and it was secret, and usually Yang hated herself before, after, and during, and Coco would understand, and Coco said that she felt bad too, and the two of them felt bad together.

They both felt like they had Nevermores resting on their shoulders. Coco felt responsible for Yang, and so Coco gave her what she needed, but she could not help her gnawing insecurity and the pain of every heartbeat. It was hard to be there for Yang like she had to be. Wanted to be. All because she loved her. What made it worse was that she knew that Yang loved her back, but that she loved Blake more.

And every time they kissed, Coco could not help but lose a little bit of her soul, piece after piece, like Yang was hammering at it with a chisel, because that was all she had left to give.

But then there was _the incident,_ and everything changed. Ruby had become happy, very much so, because Yang seemed to be back on track and actually happy again, and that made Ruby happy in turn.

Yang remembered how they had gone out into the forest late at night, Coco and her, and fucked against a tree next to the most gorgeous stream. The night was dark but twinkled with life, and the forest was so quiet. Yang's moans could no doubt be heard quite easily were you close enough in the forest, but when she had hit her climax and fell against Coco's body, her deep breaths were fast and breathed against Coco's ears, and she had gave a raw "I love you" to Coco, and Coco had frozen.

"Yang –"

"Crap," Yang breathed. "I know; I'm sorry. I was the one that didn't want feelings to get in the way."

Coco kissed her forehead. They were still so close to each other, their breaths against each other's faces, the bodies touching, their heads reeling. "Easier said than done, Blondie."

She looked into Coco's eyes. Coco could see Yang's pain and the seeping insecurity that grew with every passing day. "You too?"

Coco nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Coco said. "I'm a big girl; I make my own decisions. But, Yang, you've got to tell Blake."

Yang recoiled, but Coco held her close. "I- I can't do that, Coco. I can't. It'll end badly."

Coco gave the faintest of smiles, but Yang could not help but feel it looked ghostly. Coco was so confident, and Yang _did_ love her. She hated herself for doing this to Coco. "Like this is any better?" Coco replied. "Having sex in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain, in a cold forest infested with Grimm?"

"Well, when you put it like that…"

The girls laughed and it was as if the dam suddenly broke, because the two girls suddenly felt lighter, free, happy. A silence settled between them. It was one that was clouded with thoughts so thick you could pluck one from thin air and feel it in your grasp, almost tangible.

"Yang, you have to tell her."

Yang breathed out; her nostrils flared. "Yeah, I know."

Yang needed Coco, she realised with some contentment. She loved her. And if – when – _when_ she told Blake, and if it didn't work out, maybe then she could finally give them a real chance.

"Thanks, Coco." Yang whispered. "I don't know if I deserve you."

"Please," Coco said, "of course not, I'm pure gold." They smiled at each other. Coco let her go and plucked Yang's top off of the floor, handing it to her. "Go get your girl, Little Dragon."

* * *

In the morning, she had woken up sick. It was her own fault, really, for having sex in the cold and rain. Weiss, Ruby and Blake had brought her a coffee, and she had thanked them. Blake had let her lie on her bed and it was so easy to fall asleep when Yang was wrapped in her scent; it was like a never-ending lullaby. The team had said their quiet goodbyes and went to their lessons. Yang had sipped her coffee in peace. She felt happy despite her stomach feeling so _un_ happy, and wondered if Coco was as sick as she was.

The thoughts evaporated when Blake came back.

"Are you feeling any better?" she had asked, her face shaped with a small smile, the smile that was just _so_ Blake.

"Totally." Yang said and it was hard not to hear the sarcasm. "I haven't wanted to die since this morning."

Blake took a tentative seat next to her, being careful not to sit on Yang. "Do you want anything?"

"Nah." Blake looked at her expectantly and she watched as a sheepish smile grew on Yang's face. "Some soup would be nice, I'll admit."

"Is chicken okay?"

"Chicken sounds awesome."

They had stayed silent whilst Blake made the soup, and then she had given it to Yang without a word, sitting back down next to her and pulling out her scroll. "I hope you don't mind being on my bed, I just thought you might be more comfortable."

"I am." Yang said, and she inhaled deeply. The smell of her soup was intoxicating and warmed her insides. "It smells like you; helps me sleep."

Blake's eyelids fluttered. "I'm glad."

Yang tried to see what Blake was doing on her scroll, but to no avail. It looked like she was messaging someone, and with a sink in her stomach she realised it was Sun. Of course. They had that date tonight.

"Who're ya texting?" Yang asked, though she already knew.

Blake spoke as if it was no big deal. Yang wished she knew that it was. "Sun." she said. "I'm cancelling my date with him, you look like you could use some help."

"Oh, no, seriously, Blake, you don't have to do that –"

"It's already done, Yang. Besides, you don't look too good."

But she felt like a million bucks, Yang thought with a smile. Blake was cancelling on Sun, her _boyfriend,_ for Yang! That squeezed her heart to the point of utter exhaustion. "Well, thanks, I guess."

"You don't have to thank me, Yang." Blake said.

Yang pursed her lips, nodded, and took a loud slurp of her soup. It tasted good, and she smiled. Blake was giving her a similar smile and her own widened at the sight. As she went to take another sip, her spoon slipped, and she jolted from the hot pain. "Ah, ah!" she exclaimed, rubbing at her skin with her sleeve and mopping up the liquid. Blake quickly grabbed a cloth and wiped it away. "Thanks," Yang said as Blake rolled her eyes and dried Yang's skin. "it's hot."

"No kidding." They laughed, only a little, and Blake dumped the cloth on the side. Yang was smiling at her so contentedly. "What?" Blake said after a moment of silence.

"Nothing." Yang said, still smiling. "You're just gorgeous."

Blake looked at her like she had grown a second head, but Yang had decided: enough was enough. It was now, or it was never. Coco was very much a 'live in the moment' kind of gal, maybe it was time for Yang to follow her example.

"Blake," she began. She was a confident person, and although her stomach churned (and not from the illness) her voice had the utmost assurance. "I need to tell you something." Blake opened her mouth to speak, but Yang grabbed her hand, silenced her. "Please, I just want you to listen."

So Blake stayed quiet.

Yang pushed herself up and shoved her soup on the side. If she was going to confess, she wasn't going to do so hunched over, red faced, and covered in hot soup. She looked down to their joined hands, Yang fiddling with Blake's fingers, and sighed. "I know I've been a bit off recently. I know I upset you guys, and I know you've been worried. I've just had a lot on my mind."

"I was worried, Yang."

"I know." Yang said. She squeezed Blake's hand. "And, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." Blake simply stared at her, stared at her with the amber eyes that saw more than they said, that had seen war and death and destruction, but still had so much hope and saw so much good that could come from the world. Yang could stare into those eyes for an eternity. "One of the reasons I've been so upset is you. Not _because_ of you, but…just you. It's my own fault, really," a shaky laugh, "that's just how it goes when you fall in love."

Too strong?

Blake stared at her. Her eyes were surprisingly calm, but she pulled her hand from Yang's and stared forward, away from Yang. Her eyelids fluttered in realisation. Yang wondered if that was a good thing.

"You're in love with me?" Blake sounded breathless.

"Well, if you want to put a label on it…"

" _Yang."_

The tone struck a chord with Yang, and she nodded and bit at her cheek and linked her sweating hands together. "Yes. For a while. I mean, not a while, but _yeah,_ a while. A while."

Blake still did not look at her. Yang tried to ignore how that simple gesture made her feel like she was drowning. "How long is a while?"

Yang did not look down. "A year."

Blake stood. "A year." She breathed. "Since long before Sun, then."

"Yes."

She finally looked at Yang, but her expression showed nothing. Her cat ears were locked in place, though, as if she were alert.

"I need time." Blake said.

It was a stab to the heart, but nothing Yang wasn't expecting. She wanted it to be like some soppy story, like one of Blake's cliché books, that she would jump on Yang and kiss her until her lips were numb, but that was not reality. Yang did not think Blake knew that she could play her heartstrings like a violin. Get it right, and the most beautiful melody could be sung. Get it wrong, and the screeching was just something Yang would have to grow accustomed to. This was far better than rejection, though, which was what Yang had feared.

But it could still end that way.

"That's okay." Yang said. "I didn't expect anything. I just thought you should know. Not telling you was driving me crazy."

"I understand." Blake said. A moment of silence. "I'm going to go for a walk. Are you okay on your own for a while?"

Did Blake want to get away from her?

"You bet." Yang said.

Did she find her pathetic?

Her doubts were ceased when Blake gave Yang a soft smile and said: "This won't change anything. I promise."

It was like a weight had been lifted.

Yang did not see Blake until the next day. Blake had given her a smile – the same smile Blake always gave, and it was just as much a comfort as it was a punch to the gut. Yang wondered if that would be how she always felt when she saw Blake: hurt but happy. Later that day, Blake had brought her tomato soup and a piece of bread, but they did not talk.

No, they did not talk, not properly, until a week later, when Yang was all better.

It was just after lunch, when they were supposed to be heading to lesson.

Blake had pulled Yang aside and let them get lost in the crowd, leaving Weiss and Ruby behind. "We need to talk." She said, and Yang's throat had immediately felt constricted.

"O-okay." She said, letting Blake take her sweaty hand. They had walked to the library. The place was huge and covered in books, which Yang felt stupid for pointing out because – _duh!_ – it's a library.

She had let Blake pull her to the very back, away from prying eyes and angry librarians, and with every step she heard the pounding of her pulse in her ears, felt it in her head, dizzying her, felt her hand grow sweatier and her face grow red because she didn't want Blake to feel her with a sweaty hand –

They stopped at the very back of the library, tucked in an alcove of so many books, it felt as if they towered over Yang (or maybe that was just her anxiety talking?) and a single table that sat neatly in the middle. Yang cleared her throat. "So, uh, Kitten – nice place you got here?"

Blake just looked at her. Her amber eyes were so unreadable, and she wasn't smiling. She wasn't frowning either – thank God – but Yang really didn't know what to make of her. "I told Sun." is what she said.

"What?" Yang replied, taking a step forward. "You told him what?" she didn't want to sound over-eager but, well, she _was_ over-eager.

"I told him that you said you were in love with me."

Yang held up a finger. "Are." she corrected. "But I don't – I don't want to come between you and Sun. I just had to tell you that I dig you. It was driving me bananas, like when Ruby eats a whole bag of cookies."

" _Yang_."

Yang had the decency to look sheepish, and look to the floor. Blake's eyes were so piecing, how could she meet them when she felt so foolish? "Sorry, Blake." She said. "I'm just – not all that good at this, you know? And I really don't want to interfere with your relationship-"

"It's not going to come between Sun and I, Yang."

Yang looked up. She waited for Blake to elaborate.

Blake did. She took three steps forward, small and quiet. "Because when I told him what you told me, he broke up with me."

Yang slapped a hand to her forehead and rubbed it roughly down her face, filling with remorse. "I am so sorry, Blake, I knew I shouldn't have told you, I shouldn't have listened to Coco or Ruby or been so arrogant –"

"He said that he understood. Yang - when I told him this, it wasn't just to tell him, and he understood that. Do you get it now?"

Yang's mouth was left flopping open. She wasn't sure what to do with herself, not sure how to react or what to say – not sure what to do with her arms, which hung uselessly by her sides. "Do you mean…?"

"Yes, Yang." Blake smiled. It's amusement, Yang thought, that smile was one of amusement. "I mean that I –" she let a small burst of laughter out, and then her eyes were back on Yang, and her smile was wider. "I _dig_ you too."

Yang took another step forward, now overly confident despite her pounding heart, and she hesitantly reached a hand up, cupped Blake's chin in her hand. Now, Yang was smiling, but her voice was quiet and serious. "Can I…"

Blake gave the slightest nod, and Yang revelled in the satisfaction of watching Blake's eyes flutter shut, her breath grow short. But most of all, she revelled in the feeling of Blake's soft lips hitting her own, and the scent of lavender that ensnared her senses.


End file.
